Related articles from Yahoo AnswersOpen Question: What do you think aboute them...??? ^^ let you read!?
A woman wanting to surpise her husband,
she puts on a wig and a new suit and new makeup, and then visited her husband. In his office,
she flirts with him and said: "Hi, handsome, do you
want to ....." He takes a look at her, and immediately
interupted her and said: "No! I don't.
you reminds me of my wife."
*****
An old cowboy, dressed in a cowboy shirt, jeans,
ten gallon hat, spurs, and chaps was sitting
in a bar sipping his whiskey when a beautiful young woman
walked in and sat down next to him.
After a few minutes she turned to the cowboy and asked,
"Are you a real cowboy"?
"Well," he replied, "I've spent my whole life
on the ranch, herding cattle, breaking horses,
mending fences and such, so I reckon I am."
After a short time he turned to the young woman
and asked, "What're you, young lady?"
"I've never been on a ranch", she replied,
"so I'm certainly no cowboy. I'm a lesbian",
she went on. "I've spent my whole life thinking about
other women. As soon as I get up in the
morning I start to think of women. When I eat I think of women.
When I shower I think of women.
When I watch TV I think of women.
When I sleep I dream of women.
Everything seems to make me think of women."
A short time later the young woman left
and an older couple came in and sat down next to the
cowboy. In a few minutes they turned to the cowboy
and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought that I was,
but I just found out that I'm a lesbian!"
*********
An elder butler of the emperor (A castrated
man working for the emperor) saw Mr. Ji wearing
leather jacket and holding a fan (A custom of scholars).
The butler says to Mr. Ji : "Little scholar,
wear leather, hold summer fan, have you read
the book Spring and Autumn?"
Mr. Ji hears the butler's southern accent
and replies: " Old butler, born in the South,
Comes to North, is that thing still with you?"
On another day, Mr. Ji is out walking with friends,
he says to his friends that he can make the woman,
the owner of a restaurant, laugh with one sentence
and then makes her angry with another sentence.
They don't believe him, so they
put the bet on a table of banquet.
Mr. Ji then walks to doorway of the store and towards
the watch dog in front of the store and says:
"Dad!" ; The woman paused a moment, and then
covers her mouth and laughs. Mr. Ji then walks
towards her and also towards the woman
and says :" Mom!" ......
Therefore, he wins a table of banquet.
*********
An old maiden needs a well draft by a lawyer.
she said: "I have 1 million dollar, I'm planning to spend
800 thousand on my burial. When I was alive,
nobody cared for me, after I died, I want everone in the
town to see my expensive burial."
Lawyer asked: "What to do with the remainder 200 thousand?"
She replied: "Nobody loved me, I want to spend it on a
romantic experience in bed....!"
After the lawyer returned home and talked to his wife about
the burial, his wife encouraged him to voulunteer for the
200 thousand dollar.
Next day, they drove to the old maiden's house. The lawyer
gets off and told his wife to come pick him up in 2 hours...
Two hours later, she waited in the car for a long time, but
he still does'nt appear, so she honks on the phone. Later,
he stuck his head out of a window in the house and said:
"Come get me in 4 days, she decided to have a economical
burial instead...."
Do you like them????^^
Open Question: Can you help me with this poem??
Ok, 4th day of 7th grade and they make us write a poem. I have to share this out loud in front of the class so plz nothing weird. It's called an "i am poem".......it's just a bunch of personal stuff i have to throw in a poem. here's an example we got: I am a fun girl who loves horses(not the first line, the title)
(ok THIS is the first line) I am a fun girl who loves horses
I wonder more about colts each day
I hear horses speak
I see a stable full of winged horses
I want to be around horses forever
I am a fun girl who loves horses
I pretend I am with a pegusus
I feel safe when i am around these creatures
I touch the soft fur of a colt
I worry when i am alone
I cry when colts die
I am a fun girl who loves horses
I understand i can't ride a horse everyday
I say "let them run free"
I dream that one day i will ride a horse everyday
I try to get to know horses better
I hope i will soend more time with horses
I am a fun girl who loves horses
Ok, it's 18 lines. It doesn't have to be about one topic like the one above. Also that's not the exact example because we only saw the exact example in class. Here's mine so far:
I am a friendly girl who loves animals
I am a friendly girl who loves animals
I wonder (help me with this part plz)
I hear birds chirping
I see the sandy beach
I want to live a long happy life
I am a friendly girl who loves animals
I pretend (help me here)
I feel (help me here)
I touch the silver lining of each cloud
I worry when im confused (i dont like this part that much plz help me)
I cry when something bad happens ( i also dont like this part)
I am a friendly girl who loves animals
I understand some things won't be fair
I say "the grass if greener on the other side" (any of quotes like that?plz help)
I dream the world will become a better place
I try my best at everything i do
I hope for world peace
I am a friendly girl who loves animals
thanks 4 reading this i bet it's really long. PLease tell me if you think i should change anything else. thanx.
Is this a good choice? I feel safe when i'm with family and friends, 8th line of poem
Open Question: Husbands Can't lie can they ?
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
Head with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied, 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket'.
The man then said, 'When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name
of the horse I bet on'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the
head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
star if you like
Resolved Question: POLL : Which pick up line is your Favorite ? ?
Hope these make you chuckle.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock.
I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.
Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.
Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?
Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way.
Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's.
You with those curves, and me with no brakes ...
Aw, girl, I'm gonna have to put you on my "To Do" List!
Save a horse -- ride a cowboy.
Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.
I posted this to make people laugh Larry Vaughn. Though I am married I do get picked up now and then. Don't take this seriously.
What is with the thumbs down ?
Open Question: Why are some gambling ages different?
Why do you only have to be 16 to gamble on lottery and scratchcards but you have to be 18 to bet on horses, enter a casino, or gamble online ?
Resolved Question: Seasoned punters - can you help?
I'm pretty new to this gambling lark, so I could do with some advice on the following;
Lucky 15 e/w and Tote placepot - Are these type of bets worthwhile? What should I be looking out for when selecting meeting/races/horses/prices for these types of bet?
If you could pick me some winners that would be great, but I would settle for some good general pointers!
Thanks.
Edit - In case anyone is interested here's my placepot at Ripon yesterday - 1st, 1st, 1st, 3rd, 2nd, 2nd - trouble was only four runners in the fourth race!
Open Question: This girl said something nasty to me on FTJ, is it true what she said?
I got into an argument with this one girl and she said this to me
we are nice to guys with intelligence.
you have a big nose
you have a big forehead
you have a hairline that goes so far back I can draw a map up there
your eyes are uneven
you probably have a firecrotch
your lips are unproportioned
you have horse teeth
you are chubby
love handles are not attractive
your chest is probably hairy
you're probably short and that is so unattractive
your best bet is just to shoot yourself and do us all a favor
Now, can you view my pics and confirm what she said? Am i that ugly? http://www.facethejury.com/profile.asp?user_name=whiteagle009
Resolved Question: I bet i can tell you why you cant believe the bible to be 100% true!!?
If you believe the bible 100% then you have to believe that the world began with adam and eve about 6000 years ago, and that the earth is flat.
I believe in god i really do, but about 50% of it is a pile of steamy horse manure.
It has obviously been exagerated.
Before you start condeming me know that i take my religion ver seriously, but you cannot possibly believe it is all, the word of God.
If you are saying that you believe the world started with adam and eve, and that the earth is flat then you are simply to afraid to admit that science does sometimes win over the bible.
The reason i say that you gotta believe the earth is flat if you believe the bible to be 100% correct, is because the bible has a number of passages talking about the edge of the earth and the 4 quaters of the earth. I am not showing you which ones, look them up for yourselves.
Resolved Question: Many Volumes has to be the class horse today at Kempton?
Henry Cecil's Many Volumes runs in a Class 3 (Conditions) Race today 4.30 at Kempton ridden by (superted) Durcan and at 9/4 looks a good bet.
He has gradually progressed from his first run on 4 May at Newmarket when he looked in need of the race and has got better and better.
Went down by a neck to Mutajarred at Great Leighs and went on to win an impressive Class 1 at Sandown beating Bushman by 3 Lengths.
He should get the extra furlong. A genuine horse he will give a good account of himself today. He's my only bet today so fingers crossed.
As for the rest of the racing today, I would steer clear it all looks quite tricky.
Anyone else having a bet today?
Des and Mick I could hear you shouting, I hope you had a change of heart , he won it really well and no reason why he shouldn't do it again.
Thanks for your comments, hope your 2 come up Mick I will cheer for you too..Jacqui xx
Resolved Question: Chase Manhattan Old Lady?
A little old lady walked into the main branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the 3 million dollars that she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. But first, she said that she wished to meet the president of the bank due to the rather large amount of money involved. After looking into the bag and seeing bundles of $1,000.00 dollar bills which could have amounted to $3 million dollars, he called the president's office and saw to it that the old lady met with him.
The lady was escorted up stairs and ushered into the president's office. Introductions were made and she stated that she liked to know the people that she did business with on a more personal level. The president then asked her how she came into such a large amount of money "was it inheritance?" he asked.
"No," she replied. He was quiet for a minute trying to think where she could have come into $3 million.
"I bet" she stated.
"You bet!" repeated the president. "As in horses?"
"No," she replied, "I bet on people."
Seeing his confusion, she explained that she just bets different things with people. All of the sudden she said "I'll bet you $25,000.00 that by 10:00 am tomorrow your balls will be square". The bank president figured that she must be off of her rocker and decided to take her up on the bet. He didn't see how he could loose. For the rest of the day he was very careful. He decided to stay home that evening and take no chances - there was $25,000.00 at stake.
When he got up in the morning and took his shower, he checked to make sure that everything was OK. There was no difference, he looked the same as he always had. He went to work and waited for the little old lady to come in at 10:00, humming as he went. He knew that this would be a good day, how often do you get handed $25,000.00 for doing nothing?
At 10:00 am sharp, the little old lady was escorted into his office. With her was a younger man. When the president inquired as to the purpose for being there, she informed him that he was her lawyer and that she always took him along when there was a large amount of money involved.
"Well", she asked, "what about our bet?"
"I don't know how to tell you this," he replied, "but I'm the same
as I always have been, only $25,000.00 richer!" The lady seemed to accept this, but requested that she be able to see for herself. The president thought that this was reasonable and dropped his trousers. She instructed him to bend over then she grabbed hold of him. Sure enough everything was fine. The president then looked up and saw her lawyer banging his head against the wall.
"What's wrong with him?" the president asked.
"Oh him," she replied, "I bet him $100,000.00 that by 10:00 this morning that I would have the president of Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls."
Resolved Question: Two part question: What was your first car? How did you get it?
Mine: 1969 Chevelle. I bought it for $300 with money I won betting on horses while on vacation in Canada. It wouldn't go in reverse, so it cost $200 more to fix the transmission.
Resolved Question: Skeptics, believers, everybody and anybody?
Can you explain the following two accounts below. Can you give your thoughts and comments on it. It has been termed "Vanishing into thin air":
1.The Vanishing Prisoner-This first account is an excellent case in point because it defies any rational explanation for one simple reason: it occurred in full view of witnesses. The year was 1815 and the location a Prussian prison at Weichselmunde. The prisoner's name was Diderici, a valet who was serving a sentence for assuming his employer's identity after he died from a stroke. It was an ordinary afternoon and Diderici was just one in a line of prisoners, all chained together, walking in the prison yard for the day's exercise. As Diderici walked with his prison inmates to the clanking of their shackles, he slowly began to fade - literally. His body became more and more transparent until Diderici disappeared altogether, and his manacles and leg irons fell empty to the ground. He disappeared into thin air and was never seen again. (From Among the Missing: An Anecdotal History of Missing Persons from 1800 to the Present, by Jay Robert Nash)
2.Stumble into Nothingness - It's difficult to dismiss such incredible stories when they take place in front of eyewitnesses. Here's another. This case began as a harmless bet among friends, but ended in tragic mystery. In 1873, James Worson of Leamington Spa, England, was a simple shoemaker who also fancied himself somewhat of an athlete. One fine day, James made a bet with a few of his friends that he could run non-stop from Leamington Spa to Coventry. Knowing that this was a good 16 miles, his friends readily took the bet. As James began to jog at a moderate pace toward Coventry, his friends climbed into a horse-drawn cart to follow him and protect their bet. James did well for the first few miles. Then his friends saw him trip on something and fall forward... but never hit the ground. Instead, James completely vanished. Astonished and doubting their own eyes, his friends looked for him without success, then raced back to Leamington Spa to inform the police. An investigation turned up nothing. James Worson had run into oblivion. (From Into Thin Air, by Paul Begg)
Resolved Question: Shouldn't ALL losing politicians have to do this?
Utah Politician Seals Deal With Horse Kiss
FARMINGTON, Utah - Lose a bet, kiss a horse. That's how Davis County Commissioner Alan Hansen found himself kissing a 3-year-old sand-colored horse named Reno.
The smooch stemmed from a contest between employees at Davis County and the Davis Hospital and Medical Center. The rules: Members of the team that lost the most weight got to watch their boss kiss a farm animal. This year, the county employees won — county staffers lost 397.6 pounds, just slightly trimmer than the hospital workers.
Hansen missed out when his fellow commissioners locked lips with a cow over the weekend.
So on Tuesday, Hansen met Reno on the front steps of the county courthouse and puckered up for what became a quick peck.
But not before he slathered on some lip balm and popped a breath mint.
He told the mare: "This is more for you than me."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080821/ap_on_fe_st/odd_horse_smooching;_ylt=AhPJj.OSZ165WXo4ZHGSXIjtiBIF
Resolved Question: Are you going to heaven?
According to a poster earlier, the following things get you into hell.
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blonde
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future
If you have done any of these things, your apparently going to hell.
Or is there a hidden secret passage to heaven? If there is, I want in on it.
If I can sin all the time like most of you are doing this very moment (according to the list) and still get into heaven, show me where the secret Heaven Closet where heaven is on the other side.
Or is there a boat?
OOh OOH! NO WAIT! Theres a FLYING HORSE AND A CARRIAGE!!?!?
How? How do i get there?
Someone tell me.
http://www.parentalguide.com/Documents/Bible_Studies/Sin_list_part_6.htm
list of 600 sins. Read and weep kiddies.
610.
WIVES NOT SUBMITTING TO THEIR HUSBANDS
Eph 5:22
611.
WOMEN WEARING MEN’S CLOTHES
Deut 22:5
WOMEN, WHAT THEY SHOULD WEAR-SEE CLOTHES
28.
EATING BLOOD
1Sam 14:33
29.
BOASTING IS EVIL
Ja 4:16; 3:5; Ro 1:30
149.
DISOBEDIENT TO PARENTS
2 Tim 3:1,2; Ro 1:30
150.
DISOBEYING MAN’S LAWS
Ro 13:1-5
151.
DISPUTING
Phili 2:14
152.
CAUSING DIVISION CONTRARY TO GOD’S WORD
Ro 16:17
153.
DIVORCE, EXCEPT FOR CERTAIN CONDITIONS
Mt 19:9
154.
GETTING INVOLVED IN THE DOCTRINES OF DEVILS
1 Tim 4:1
155.
GETTING INVOLVED IN ANY DOCTRINES OTHER THAN SOUND DOCTRINE
1 Tim 1:10
156.
FILTHY DREAMERS
Jude 8
157.
DRINKING
1 Tim 3:3; Pv 20:1
158.
DRUGS
Rev 9:21; 18:23; 21:8; 22:15
159.
GETTING DRUNK (DRUNKEN)
182.
EXTORTION
Mt 23:25; Lk 18:11
183.
LISTENING TO FABLES
Resolved Question: Couple of questions about writing out bets & settling procedure?
Couple of stupid questions, but it's one of those things I'll never know unless I ask!
1) Obviously, I can write £1 win, X, 2.30 Crinklyshire on a betting slip, put £1 as the total stake, and hand it over the counter to be processed. But can I put more than 1 seperate bet on a single slip? eg. I want to back X in the 2.30 (£1 to win) and Y in the 3.00 (£1 to win) Can I just put them on the same slip even though they are seperate bets, and not a double etc. I know 99% this is the case, it's just to be 100% certain
Which brings me on to...
2) How do highstreet bookies "recognise" the bets from a slip? The staff member you hand your slip to just scans it at when you place the bet, and just scans the barcode when you have a winner. So who/what recognises the bet you have placed? I'd have guesssed it would all be done by computer, but what if the handwriting is bad, or there's two horses with a similar name and recognition software might not be able to track it?
Cheers
Resolved Question: HORSE RACING -- QUIDS IN 3-15 GREAT LEAS ?
hi all,a horse i tipped up for possible nuthorpe target but didn't progress as expected so was entered in the 5f handicap instead CHIEF EDITER.current mark 98.WELL he contested a race at nottingham on the 23rd of april and won of a mark of 94.The second that day ( CANADIAN DANEHILL) of a mark of 95 is the sugested E-W value bet for tomorrow at 16-1 that form should be easy enough to take this so am baffled at the 16-1 on offer.the nottingham race form stands head and shoulders above the rest,just to give an example.the third that day BOND CITY has gone on to win at ripon at 14-1. the fourth that day CAPE ROYAL has gone on to win at 12-1 at nottingham easy.the fith that day HOW'S SHE CUTTIN finished 3rd in a valuable currah race,the sixth that day BABY STRANGE won at newbury off 88 second in the stewards silver cup at hamilton of 92 then second in the stewards cup off 93.the seventh that day LUSCIVIOUS won of a mark of 88 at southwel and even the 8th that day FYODOR went on to beat intrepid jack at haydock of a mark of 92.SO you can see why CANADIAN DANEHILL is very good E-W value at 16-1 (BUT) he does need to act on the course won on allweather before never at great leas. HADAF a danger could be anything.TANFORAN + LEPTIS MAGNA 5-40 chester will love conditions,so will WINDJAMMER + YEREVAN 7-10 chester.GOOD LOOK ALL AND THANKS,cheers for the winner jaqui.
Resolved Question: A farewell to arms study guide.?
Can you please help me answer these questions for book II.
1. Describe Lt Henry's arrival at the hospital.
2. Compare/contrast Miss Gage, Mrs Walker, and Mrs Van Campen.
3. What did Henry discover about his feelings for Catherine?
4. Compare and contrast the house doctor (and two associates) with Dr Valentini.
5. Why doesn't Catherine like Ettore?
6. Why is Catherine afraid of rain?
7. Fredrick and Catherine bet on Light For Me, a horse they had never heard of. Why?
8. According to Fredrick and Catherine, what is the difference between a coward and a brave person?
9. Why didnt Henry go on convalescent leave?
10. Describe the last evening Fredrick Henry and Catherine have before he has to return to duty.
11. Describe the parting of Fredrick and Catherine as he goes away in the carriage.
Resolved Question: Which faulty towers episode?
Does anybody know where i can watch clips from a faulty towers episode where Basil bets on a horse 'dragonfly' and then Manuel repeatedly says "I know nussing"! Such a classic and timeless comedy that i think is rather buried. If any old fans know of where i can find it, i shall be exceptionally grateful. Thank you in advance
Resolved Question: Can anyone explain what the "Lay the Place" betting system in horse racing is?
Resolved Question: how come horse tracks aren`t age strict?
from experience recently, although I do look somewhat old for my age (15 years old) i could never go to a convenience store and purchase lottery tickets, buy liquor go to a bingo hall etc. but for some reason everytime I go to the racetracks locally ( and the laws are 18+ to buy tickets ) i have never been questioned about age, never asked for ID, in fact I see kids who look like they are 12 walking up to the counter and placing bets, this is pretty much the case for all the racetracks i have been to locally (about 6 of them) why is this? and how come laws aren't picking up on this..
Resolved Question: How to read Horse Race Odds?
Betting on a horse race.. how do you read odds... lower the # the better?
Resolved Question: Have you ever bet on the wrong horse?
Resolved Question: horse race for monday QUID'S IN.?
hi all,hope you were all on 16-1 at one point,THANK YOU AGAIN BOOKIES. Desperate Dan 16-1 ,IF the ground is good or good to firm on monday,WE have another tasty e-w bet that will probally win anyway, MAKE MY DREAM very well in at the weights should win. REMEMBER FOLKS E-W 5-1 OR ABOVE FREE BET FOR A PLACE. a few e-w chances that i think warrant a mention that could win aswell. ( WAVATREE WARRIOR 6-30 LINGFIELD - 16-1 ) (TOUS LE DEUX 4-45 WOLVS -16-1 ) GOOD LOOK ALL. (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk) gaming club member.(MAKE MY DREAM - 8-0 WINDSOR )
cheers loanshark, desperate dan 16-1 tous le deux 16-1 win wavatree warrior 16-1 just pipped for place. QUIDS IN also ground good - soft at windsor like i stated he needs g-f but only just got beat F-ing ground.
Resolved Question: I wrote a take off on the song teardrops on my guitar and its for my horse and at my next rodeo.....?
i have to sing it.... is there any changes u think i should make. And do u have any other ideas? thanks!
Blackjack looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that Mare he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Blackjack neighs at me, I laugh cause its just so funny
That I can't even see other horse when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night
[Chorus:]
He's the reason for the teardrops on my saddle
The only one who can where my studded bridle
He's the song in the barn I keep singing, don't know why I do
Blackjack trots by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her treats
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause
[Repeat Chorus]
So I walk home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight
He's the reason for the teardrops on my saddle
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the barn I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to ride into..
Blackjack looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
GUYS!!!! Take it easy! Ok! I was just messin round with some friends and i started sing that and they all loved it and thought it was really funny and so now @ the next rodeo they dared me to sing it! It was just three girls havin fun in a car ok!! And its not like im gonna try 2 turn it into a song and send it off 2 try to make it on the radio or somethin!! And for the nice people who understand thankyou!
Resolved Question: CAN THIS BET WIN AT BATH E-W 5-1 OR ABOVE ?
hi all,thanks loanshark for top answer,totally correct about ground change and turf.i'm the same way keep me cash untill G-F conditions again.SO Aiden o'brien basically unbeatable horses,A FUN TREBLE but they all can easily win they are his best three tomorrow,and who says he carn't win a treble.Leopardstown.BUT my only club bet is DESPERATE DAN 5-0 Bath E-W 5-1 OR ABOVE FREE BET IF PLACED. good look all,and cheers! (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk) club member.
what a div forgot the horses ha ha.(GEORGEBERNARDSHAW---2-45 LEPP) (KING OF ROME--5-15 LEPP) AND (WASHINGTONIRVING--5-45 LEPP) (TREBLE) G-L ALL
loanshark,wow what a coincidence,kingdom of naple st ledger 130-1 at the moment,he was entered in a race prior to the ledger but has been withdrawn.he will have to win the ledger fresh,he is an extremely well thought of horse from this yard.hasn't run so autumn horse in mind for o'brien get on now loanshark . also if you look at another one of my answers i have tipped summer recluse as a very big price danger 20-1 with desperate dan.well done loanshark you have certainly done your homework. kingdom of naples 130-1 betfair.good look all. (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk)gaming club member.
Resolved Question: Poll: Georgia Has Frozen Bigfoot?
Will it be served with a salt rimmed mason jar or served with that stuff Nasty has comeing out of them.I bet its a southern BBQ.
Meanwhile violation notices fly in like hurricane Katrina and FEMA is no help but if i play horse-shoes long enough i may get to be in the arms of a honkeyTonk babby tonight as long as there's a Willie and a frozen Celeste which is to just die for.
Tire swings abound but i get no mileage,cause i will try anything twice.Valium's no longer proof i live the High Life but i still walk instead of taking the Subway mainly due to i have no vehicle.
So is Bigfoot for real or is it just a clan? I was aJR. SHAMWOW but was released from duty due to impotence
Top Load Washer or Side load dryer?
your secret is safe. I dont eat meat,im a vegetarian.I am making a subway, all the way to the Mexican border
Resolved Question: 8 SILLY SHORT BLOND JOKES...?
1) What do you call 100 blonde's standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel!
2) Did you hear about two blonde's jumping up and down after completing a puzzle that took them 2 years to complete?
.....The box said "3 to 5 years" on it
3) What did the blond say when she opened a box of cheerios?
..."oh...donut seeds!"
4) What do you call a blond with two brain cells? ......Pregnant!
5) Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths."
Blond: Yeth. And I'm not even thickteen yet
6) What are the first two things a blond does when she gets up in the morning?.....Introduces herself and then walks home
7) Why do Blonde's have TGIF on their shoes?.....Toes Go In First
8) Guy is in bar watching a horse race on TV and makes a bet for 500 dollars with a blond that horse #8 would win. Blond figures its a good bet since she has 9 other horses to win. Of course, horse number 8 wins. The blond cant believe it...The guy says, I'm sorry...i knew horse 8 would win cause it was replay. The blond says " I know that! but i didn't think he could do it again!"
Resolved Question: FANCY AN E-W FLUTTER ?
hi all, well what ground we get is anybodys guess.BUT the forcast down south is a nice day so the ground might dry at newmarket.Baring that in mind look at the (6-0 at newmarket) GIFT HORSE -- (dandy nichols -- sprint king) he is very well in,he finished a fast finishing 3rd to (mac gille eon) at epsom before the stewards cup,that race is a very good pointer for the stewards cup.and (mac gille eon) finished 5th in the stewards cup.SO very confident E-W bet on (GIFT HORSE) 6-0 NEWMARKET. GOOD FIRM REMEMBER. good look all and cheers.!! couple for the soft TANFORAN 8-15 CATTERICK AND SCARLET OAK 2-35 NOTTS. G-L (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk)club member.
GIFT HORSE e-w 6-0 newmarket 10-1 the darkened man good look all
gift horse squeezed up could't get through.flying at the end.J-T top answer,i like your website i have a similar one,a club very sucessful. cheers m8 (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk)
Resolved Question: What is a good method for betting at horse races?
is there a good way of knowing which horse is better to suited to a certain type/ length of race? how do you determine which horse to bet on?
Resolved Question: Anyone else have similar feelings?
I don't know why people aren't so honest these days.. Most people try to hide behind political correctness and ride the moral high horse.. Lately I stopped caring what people think about what comes out of my mouth and decided to really start saying sh** from the heart eye to eye.. Does that really make me a bad person? I bet 50% of the people feel this way but just won't admit it. Now..Read on but don't assume I would try and be honest by spewing out racist or prejudiced remarks because I don't at all. I am not racist or prejudiced. Here goes..
I used to feel remorse or bad for people that were maybe killed in accidents in the papers. Killed by robbers. Famous celebrities dying off..
Today at work people were talking about a big explosion that happened in the city of Toronto and how a few people died. They were going on and on about how it was 'too bad' etc etc. and they look at me with a grin and say '..you don't care about them do ya?' and I said '..you know what..this is the first time i am feeling this and saying this, but i am going to be honest..I really don't give a damn or feel sorry for anyone that dies anymore unless its a friend or member of my family. I could care less if someone dies in a tragic accident or is murdered by some psychopath..I really don't.' They laughed at me and said '..man that is brutal!'
Now..I know most people would consider or figure me to be a very selfish person. But to be honest, I am very giving. I tip waitresses. Give bums spare change when they ask. Buy people food and drinks all the time. Help people out with work they need done around their house. Help old people out..
Anyone else have similar feelings?
Resolved Question: tip for horse race betting
i am a horse racing gambler in Mauritius and races are very often fixed among rich punters, stable owners and jockeys. It seems that people from UK, South Africa and Australia get information about which horse will win and poor Mauritians continue to loose money every week. I am looking for reliable tips from anyone from abroad.
Resolved Question: .....Chuck Norris 101...
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f***ing Indian.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodge ball Chuck Norris played in second grade.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother?s womb.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn?t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
Chuck Norris? house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it won't be because he is gay. It will be because he has run out of women.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
If tapped, a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 minutes.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris doesn?t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
When you're Chuck Norris, anything anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his *** kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his mother?s womb.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
Resolved Question: Anybody got any suggestions oh how to make a lot of money, fast without getting a job?
My sisters 18th is coming up and I really want to get her something to remember. The only problem is I have very little money at the moment, I'm 15 so I can't get lottery tickets or do horse betting and the worst part is her birthday is really soon! Please help, Nice answers pleaseeee x
But also without selling drugs, it's gone wrong before.
I'm english
Resolved Question: who knows how to bet the horses?
who has a system?.......I'm going for the first time this weekend, and I'm looking for a little advice. I believe there is going to be someone there to help us rookies, but I was hoping for something other than the standard advice....I will only have 50 or 100 dollars to blow
Resolved Question: CAN I WIN £1000 FOR A £15 STAKE ?
hi all,cheers for the top awnser DES, you certainly know ya stuff.WELL 65 BETS REMAINING nearly there yesturday,banker won WHO'S WINNING 4-1 fav. i had 8-1 anyway serious work infront of us.my idea is £1000 --- £5000 --- £10000 your init for the long haul so judgement should be judged on the end product not individual losses they will happen its about a permed profit. areally tasty one for tomorrow,can you all remember YAMAL mark jonston's horse who won a big race at goodwood last week. well BORASCO beat YAMAL by 4 half lenths easily at newcastle with YAMAL carring a penalty for winning the previous race 2nd to BORASCO of a mark of 90 inc.penalty.after YAMALS second he wins three more times max mark of 101 and latest of 78 at goodwood which i had a very very heavy bet on so BOROSCO very much appeals,he runs off a mark of 76 he must be amazingly in. like DES with rochester at kempton solid ew you need 4-1 for a free bet get ya money back if placed.BUT to me he is my first choice for my DOUBLE. my second choice is TRIP THE LIGHT. he was third to fossgate and if you do the maths around that race you will see his mark actually is about 65 he runs off 61 tomorrow still 4lb in i think.when WE backed him he was running off a mark off 57 so WE lumped on at 4-1 he ended up 2-1 fav that day.thats my double boys & girls,also kep an eye on LAST THREE MINUTES i was going to put him in me £15 bet but three winners is asking a lot,i'm choosing theese two because of the change in the ground. BORASCO -- 3-0 redcar TRIP THE LIGHT -- 5-10 redcar LAST THREE MINUTES -- 3-35 redcar tiny treble.good look all and thanks for your patience. (pkscally@yahoo.co.uk) club member.
BORASCO 17-1 into 4-1 00-25 am saturday betfair.
Resolved Question: Are Elevator bits legal in the Hunter/Jumper ring?
I competed at a show with my horse Nietzsche a couple weeks ago and people were telling me that it was illegal and others that it was legal. Judges had different opinions on the bets. There were 3 judges there and they all said different things. Are they really illegal? Or is it just a preference? I would like to keep riding in it since my horse goes smoothly in it...
Resolved Question: would you answer the phone??
A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'BETTY SUE' written on it."
He says, "Blimey honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to BET on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "And just what the heck was THAT for!!??"
She responded "Well................Your horse just called."
Resolved Question: Can one really make a living from horse race betting
Resolved Question: if you were at the horse racing,and you bet all your money on a Horse called "MY FACE".what would you shout to
CHEER YOUR HORSE ON TO VICTORY.
Resolved Question: What type of organisation would TAB fall under?
TAB is a organisation, where people call up, and want to place bets on horse racing, sports, and etc, and we place it for them
Does this fall under manufacturing, retail, public sector or community
Resolved Question: Australian racing question.(Race 1 Moe)?
I've just put a couple of quid on 'Sol Brilliante' in the first race at Moe.
As it is an overseas bets for me (in UK) it's a pool bet so I couldn't see any odds or form.
Does anyone know anything about this horse please?
What kind of price it may pay out at?
Will I be rolling in beans?
Thanks.
Ps.What time does that race go off please?
Resolved Question: are septum piercings really invisable when you want them to be hidden?
i want to get my septum pierced
i need to hide it from my parents
but will i be able to do that?
and what bar do i get?
im thinking 16g black horse shoe is that the best bet
for it to be hidden?
Resolved Question: Are there any dark horse bets on who will get relegated next season in the premiership
I am looking for a bet on who will get relegated next season I am NOT going to back Hull, Stoke or West Brom. as the price for backing these to be relegated is way to low.
I am looking for a "Dark horse" that could be relegated.
Thank you for your answers.
Resolved Question: What do you look at when betting on a horse?
Is it speed times, Pedigree, jockeys, or a horse moving up or down in a class?
Resolved Question: Toteplace pot and 4th place?
I had a placepot bet on at goodwood today and a couple of my horse's have placed 4th, however, both races e/w odds are 4th place and above so technically both horses have offically "placed" in the race.
Will this count in the Toteplace pot?
clyde W: well done buddy I had Gallagher so still going strong myself. I had Oisris Way and Cape Hawk in earlier races who both placed 4th however my online betting site is telling me its a lose which is where my confussion is coming from.
Resolved Question: Using a bit as a security blanket
Someone else's question made me think of this, and I want to hear what other people think:
I know (knew) a woman who used slightly more severe bits than was warranted, because she was afraid one of her horses might spook or bolt on her. She didn't use anything super-crazy severe, but more bit than her quiet, well-broke horses needed. She was a timid rider and while she wasn't terrible, she wasn't the greatest rider ever, either. Her hands were OK but not super-quiet.
I have no problem with bumping up your usual loose ring snaffle a few notches and switching it to a bit with a little more whoa, if you're going out on the trail and your horse is sometimes fresh. That is OK and honestly, I think it's probably safer that way. But this particular person used slightly-too-severe bits for every ride, indoors and out.
It occurred to me that this might be an issue with other people, too, and a potentially detrimental one. It becomes not only a security blanket, but possibly a crutch as well.
So, anyone else have any thoughts or related experiences? Is this a problem or not and if so, what do you think is a better approach? And what is a timid rider to do when they think that a severe bit is their best bet for safety?
Well, I'll be darned! The "new and improved" YA doesn't automatically add a question mark to your question for you. Just pretend it's there...
_____________
Kicking Bear, the thumbs down wasn't from me...I was all excited you answered at all, LOL.
_________
_________
You know, I would REALLY like the thumbs downing people (not you, Dallas!) to speak up. I want to know what they're disagreeing with, as I want to hear both sides of this.
Stop trolling, start speaking!
Resolved Question: In Horse racing betting does the favourite usually get shorter odds closer to the race?
Resolved Question: My parents like horse betting. Is Bet Accelerator any good ?
http://BetAccelerator.com
Resolved Question: Best place in Vegas to watch football?
I'm going to Vegas for the opening weekend of NFL, woo hoo! So excited :) Anyway i suppose we'll watch the games at ESPN Zone (at NY NY), but are there better sports bars for NFL in Vegas?
And, as a bonus Q, what's the deal with the preoccupation with horse racing in sports bars in Vegas? I know it's the betting, but you can bet on any sport. Are they just old geezers? Wouldn't you rather see Vikings v. Packers than some crappy horse race?
Hey Hardcore, wow thanks for the info! Really useful!
Lulu -- I don't know, maybe it's dinner time for her?
Resolved Question: can anyone tell me how the website betfair works?
if for example you are looking at backing a horse do you have to match the layers price to place a bet?
say for example the backers price is 9.5 and current layers price is 12 do you have to match the 12 to back the horse?
im confused help!!!
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